You Know You Have a Newborn When - Your Robe

You Might Have a Newborn If...

You Might Have a Newborn When...
You might have a newborn when this happens....

  • At 9:00 pm on a Wednesday, you jump in your car for a late-night diaper-run (you hadn't anticipated exactly which diapers would be the best fit for your newborn's sensitive little buns, so of course, you hadn't been able to 'stock up').
  • You pull into the parking lot, at Walmart, and park your car.
  • As you twist your car keys from the ice, you haphazardly look down at yourself, and you realize that you are still wearing your fleece bath robe (the ugly bath robe that lays on the hook on the back of your bathroom door) - the bath robe that, at one point in your life, used to make you embarrassed, if and when, the pizza delivery man witnessed you wearing it when you answered the door.
  • But then, you become momentarily surprised, because all of the sudden, you realize that you have seriously stopped caring what people think of you - you are so tired - your newborn is depleting all of your natural energy, despite your pre-labor promise to yourself that this wouldn't happen.  
  • You contemplate a new idea to yourself: "So what if I'm wearing my robe inside of a retail store?"
    • You tell yourself, "You should see what other people who shop at Walmart wear....so yeah...my robe probably isn't that bad compared to those bozos."
  • Your mind begins to drift back to your pre-pregnancy self, and you wonder, "What have I become?....."
  • But then, you remember that driving back home and then back to Walmart would entail at least an extra 25 minutes (when you count both ways) to your trip.
  • Then, you envision how good it would feel to sleep on your fluffy bed (the bed that has the crappy mattress that you used to complain about)
    • ....or how good it would feel to take a shower....
    • ...or to thoroughly floss your teeth. 
    • ...Ahwhwhw...beedddddd....
  • You put your car keys in your purse, and you become suddenly liberated from the burdens of what was once society's judgements.
  • You walk into Walmart, with your fleece bath robe still on.

Food for Thought:

Have you heard of the website "People Who Shop at Walmart"?  Before we judge the "people who shop at Walmart," perhaps we need to consider whether these are just new parents who are tired as he**.  



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